Supporting Breastfeeding

La Leche League Canada

Dealing With Thoughtless Remarks

on December 12, 2016

Even when you are feeling comfortable with your breastfeeding choices, other people’s thoughtless remarks can make you feel anxious or upset. Remember that the remark is a statement about the speaker’s feelings or experience and not about you.  When you are feeling challenged by other people’s feeling about your breastfeeding relationship, talking with a La Leche League Leader can help you frame your replies and renew your confidence.

The following is a collection of remarks that might be made and some examples of responses.

Remark:  “How long are you going to breastfeed that baby?
Responses:
* You’re wondering when he will wean? I’m curious about that too.
* That is up to him and how long he seems to need it.
* Partner’s name and I are not worried, we are in no hurry to stop.

 

Remark:  “Didn’t you just nurse him?
Responses:
* We love to cuddle.
* He evidently forgot!
* That is the nicest part; we’re not tied to a schedule.

 

Remark:  “Aren’t you awfully tied down?
Responses:
* I’m indispensable and I like it that way.
* I appreciate your concern but no I don’t feel tied down.
* A nursing baby is so portable it is really the opposite of being tied down.

 

Remark:  “If you weren’t nursing him I could help you more.
Responses:
* But you have been so much help already! If you hadn’t <fill in the blank> we couldn’t have made it this far.
* You’d probably like to spend more time with him. How about giving him a bath later?

 

1-thoughtless

 

Remark:  “Don’t be a martyr. You don’t have to breastfeed to be a good mother.”
Responses:
* You are right, there a lots of wonderful mothers who don’t breastfeed.
* Who’s a martyr? I really enjoy breastfeeding.

 

Remark:  “He’ll never let you go, you are making him overly dependent!
Responses:
* I understand that you see it that way but we each have our own way of doing things.
* Our closeness now will make him secure enough to be independent when he is older and ready for it

 

http://www.lllc.ca/thoughts-parenting

 
If you need more information or have a breastfeeding problem or concern, you are strongly encouraged to talk directly to an accredited La Leche League Leader. In Canada, Leaders can be located by clicking http://www.lllc.ca/find-group or Internationally http://www.llli.org/.

If you have found this article helpful, La Leche League Canada would appreciate your support. Your donation is essential and very much appreciated to help LLLC cover the cost of producing breastfeeding resources: https://www.lllc.ca/donate or become a LLLC Friend http://www.lllc.ca/join-lllc-friends

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